Coping
by kenziecaffrey
Summary: Neal Caffrey is supposedly dead, but what if he isn't? More details inside Warnings: Possible whumpage, you could say character "death," and spoilers for Out of the Box. I do not own White Collar or I am not in any way associated with it. Completed.
1. The News

**New story and I'm very excited and have actually been thinking about this one for a long time. Anyways, thank you for all the reviews on my other story, 'Cancer.' I really loved some of the criticism and the nice words you had to say so I can improve and become a better writer in the feature. I do not own White Collar or I am not associated with White Collar in anyway. **

_**Warning: Maybe have some whumpage in it, but I haven't decided. No slash. Spoilers for Out of the Box.  
And I think there is gonna be one person perspectives some times, and also, I apologize in my last story for not putting warning on it, I was new and kind of forgot. Sorry. And thank you for pointing that out, a few people did. There was a lot of research put in to that one and sorry if the facts didn't add up. :(**_

**Plot: Peter, Elizabeth, Jones, Lauren, Hughes, and the rest of the world think Neal Caffrey is dead from a stakeout and undercover mission gone wrong, but what if he isn't? Let's see how the gang's reaction is to it, especially when Jones was the witness. And where is Neal Caffrey, the alleged con artist, gone now? And will he ever come back?**

**ALSO: The idea was provided by Monk. If you watched Monk, you would know that Monk once pretended to be dead, but this time, Neal isn't pretending. He thinks that people know he is alive and are looking for him. He's lost and confused. Neal also didn't need his name cleared for murder in this fanfiction (this is why Monk pretended to be dead.) So if you don't want to read it because I took a slice of the idea from it, then don't read it.  
**-

(Peter's POV)

I remember the day I got the news. Hughes sat me down; I looked him in his brown eyes. I knew something wasn't right; there was that odd look in his older face. He made me sit down, why did he make me sit down? I remember those thoughts like it was yesterday. Wait, I think it was yesterday. When you get tragic news, you tend to forget these things.

I had sent Jones with Neal on an undercover job, there was plenty of backup, and usually I would have gone with him, but I remember, I was feeling sick and Hughes wouldn't let me go. I knew he regretted it now. It was just a stomachache after all, but I could've gotten sick.

Hughes looked at me in my eyes, "Its Neal," he started. My heart started pounding in my chest. We were friends, and I would be so upset if he was hurt. He was definitely one of my closer friends.

"Is he hurt?" I asked, but I was afraid that he would go on. I knew what was happening anyways, though. Hughes looked at me, he was so quiet and he looked as though someone had punched him in the gut.

He took a breath, "I'm sorry, Peter. The suspect figured out who Caffrey was. We have him in custody, but I'm so sorry. Peter, Neal is d-." I didn't allow him to finish. I sprinted out of the room with my stomachache returning.

And then I saw him; Jones. He was walking in the room. His face was trickled in tears, this was not happening. There was this idiotic lady with a camera. When I look back at her now, I just want to think how much I wanted to punch her in the face. Why would she be asking him question about what just happened? He was recovering.

I walked up to him at a slow pace. I didn't want to hear the words that he said, but I knew I would sooner or later. "Jones, it's not true, is it?" I asked, looking in his face.

Jones looked, he was lost at words. "I'm sorry. I only saw the body, I couldn't see the rest. The person pushed him after he shot him in the ocean; it could take years to recover the body. I tried to shoot him or something, just get him so he couldn't take Neal. I tried so hard, but I couldn't. I'm sorry, Peter. It's my fault."

I didn't like it when people blamed themselves for other people's death. Neal at first did when Kate died, but then his friends surrounded him, convincing him that he didn't. He suddenly believed.

My heart was thudding, "Jones, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't run up and tackle the person; it was too late even if you did." I patted him on the shoulder and left the office. How was June and Elizabeth going to take the news? What about Mozzie? Did he already know? And Alex? I remember thinking that on that day. That treaded, horrible, cursed day, where I couldn't be there for my friend to help him. My world stopped for a while.

When I left the office, I didn't have a plan where I was going. I just walked where my feet would take me. I didn't think about anything but why I couldn't have been there for my friend, at his side, when he had died. I hadn't broken down yet, and I was amazed. When I talked to Elizabeth, I remember crying so hard against her, and I remember her crying so hard against me. We cried together, broken inside.

That young man had so much spirit, so much soul, and so much attitude in him. I would miss him and that stupid hat. I smiled at the thought. I missed him flipping it and annoying me on a daily basis, and when I went back to work, I remember waiting for him to arrive, then Hughes reminded me, "He's not going to walk through the doors, Peter." He patted my shoulder and walked away.

I sat at the dining room table, waiting for Elizabeth to come home, so I could give her the dreaded news that her friend was dead. My friend was dead too. Had Mozzie and June already gotten the news? I shook my head at the thought.

Elizabeth's face was always so comforting to me, even during the worst of times; I couldn't help but smile at her face. She was so beautiful, outrageous, and spontaneous. She was mine, my wife. It seemed like hours for her to come home on that day, but it was only minutes. I looked at the clock, anxiously.

I heard a door crack open and squeak, and then I looked at Elizabeth walking in with an umbrella over her head, hanging it up. She was taking off her jacket; she probably thought I was still at work. She was surprised when she saw me at the dining room table, with that troubled look on my face. She smiled at me, kissing me on the cheek. I remember how badly I needed that from her.

Who knew a young couple's life could fall apart so quickly? Not completely fall apart, but a part of it had gone…missing.

We didn't say a word to each other for the first few minutes, she just watched me, trying to figure out why I looked so troubled. Then finally, after the minutes of complete silence, she asked me, tilting my head upward, "What's wrong, honey?" she asked.

I looked at her, her beautiful eyes melting me away, but I just shook my head. I felt tears welled up in my eyes then, it was gonna hurt me to say these words to her. I couldn't even imagine the visions Jones had replaying in his head then. I sighed and then finally came out with it, she noticed the tears and got a tissue for me, she grabbed my hand.

"Neal is dead." I said, it was simple enough; I didn't want to say the details. It would break my heart too much. She just stared at me, a blank expression of shock covering her beautiful face. "What?" she asked, she had tears in her eyes much like me.

I nodded, "I can't say anymore. Stakeout gone wrong. I'll tell you when I'm…better." I said to her. She shook her head, "I d-don't want to hear anymore." She cried and then looked down, grabbing a tissue herself.

There we sat at the table, I remembered, crying. We didn't make a sound; we could hear a mouse pitter-patter on the floor. We ignored it. After maybe thirty minutes of complete silence and tears, we both agreed to go upstairs, "Satchmo." I called and he followed, sensing something was wrong.

Satchmo was a great asset of the family. A loyal, companion that sensed when something was wrong was great. Satchmo would sit in between us that night, sleeping at our sides. I remembered how much Neal loved taking Satchmo out for walks.

I listened to Elizabeth and she listened to me. The tears, the sadness, the mourning, and the sniffles. Before Satchmo entered the bed, we held each other, just looking at the wall. Well, I was at least; Elizabeth was looking the same place I was. Then again, she could've been looking at the picture of her and me.

In the middle of the night, I had gotten so violently sick from nightmares of his death. I was so sick, I made Elizabeth puke as well. We were sick, broken, and mourning together. It was amazing how comforting I was to her, and how comforting she was to me. We slept together, Satchmo next to us, with trash cans at our sides, just in case. Better safe than sorry.

I couldn't sleep though. I had that nightmare replaying in my mind over and over again. I winced at the thought that night. I remember everything that happened that day, that night, the morning following, the afternoon, the evening, and that night. How many days it had been, I didn't know.

Neal seemed like an amazing person for some reason. He gave up his life for an undercover job. That was loyalty and trust, I had even told him once not to do that, when he went on his first stakeout.

"Remember Neal, if they pull a weapon, drop the item. It is not worth your life." I told him, he nodded and smiled, "I know." He lied to me.

I would and still will miss that goofy hat, his cartoon outfits, him putting his feet on the tables, and him interrupting Elizabeth's and me's 'romantic' lunches. I smiled slightly at the thoughts about one time he had chucked ham at me on accident. Well, at least I thought it was an accident. I remember getting pissed at him.

Not an actually pissed, but I glared at him and then plotted revenge. I remember Elizabeth's smile and giggle and then Neal's laugh when it hit me in the face. Elizabeth and I talked about possible revenge's while we watched the hilarious expressions on his face. I laughed so hard that day, my side hurt the next day.

After two hours of thoughts about things we had been through together, I fell into a deep sleep. I was so exhausted, but it didn't help. I still dreamt about Neal Caffrey.

(Elizabeth's POV)  
I also remembered the day I got the news. Two days ago. I heard the news, I cried so hard in Peter's arms. Neal was like my son and then Peter said he wasn't there when it happened in bed that night. It was so silent that evening.

In the middle of the night, we had both retched up everything we had eaten that day. It was…gruesome. We were broken and crying together. I hated seeing my baby, Peter, crying. It hurt my chest like I had just gotten punched.

I woke up hours later, it was four o'clock in the morning, I cried silently. His face flashed through my head, I thought of him that day so many times.

I had called my job and Peter's work. I was going to give myself as much time as I needed to heal, but I needed to be back on my feet, at work by next week. I was planning that big job Neal had given me before the death of Kate. I was still getting ready for it, and it had been a month since Kate's death.

Lauren called in sick at work, we had heard, but we all knew she wasn't sick. She had become friends with Neal, as did the office. Jones, Peter, Lauren, and even Diane, who was in D.C., called in saying they weren't going to work that day. Sickening day.

No one expected Jones to get back to work; he would need therapy most likely. He was going to relive that for the rest of his life, and nobody blamed him for missing work. He needed to recover, as did Lauren, Peter, and Diane.

Diane even called and gave her sympathy to us since she knew how close we were with him. She was so sweet and I loved her like a sister. She had told us she sent flowers and pictures of her daughter. She said she would help arrangements with the funeral, I smiled at the thought. I liked having her around.

I called June and she had also gotten the news, she informed us that Mozzie had too. He was staying over there for quite a while to help go through Neal's things and pack them up in boxes. We would see if there was a will, but we didn't plan to find one.

I walked downstairs when I couldn't find Peter in the morning, he was sitting at the table, reading the paper, his eyes were swelled, and his hair was greasy, telling me he hadn't shaved nor showered yet. I didn't push him.

"He wasn't ready to go undercover and on stakeouts; I don't know why Hughes and I pushed him too. It's only been a month since Kate died, he wasn't prepared and back into the swing of things yet." He shook his head, slamming the paper down. The page was on the Local News. And there he was; 'Neal Caffrey Dies on Undercover and Stakeout, 32'

I shook my head, "Honey, he would've spoken up if he wasn't ready. And did he speak up?" I asked him, looking at him, taking his head. He shook his head, "He was really jumpy when Jones told him he'd be doing a stakeout from the van and Neal was going to go undercover."

He looked at the wall, a picture in place there. It was of Peter, Neal, and I in the park on a bench, smiling. I smiled slightly at it, forgetting I had placed it there. He got up, threw it to the ground, shattering it to pieces, and walked back upstairs. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

**I was pretty anxious about writing this, so if you notice some grammar mistakes, sorry about that. Thanks for reading; I am really excited about starting this story. Hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters in the future. **


	2. Coping

**The first maybe three chapters will be in POV's, the rest won't :) **

(Neal)

My chest was tight, my ears were buzzing, and I felt the world starting to go black an hour ago. My ears still buzzed a little, but now I had a different fight I had to put up with. Swimming wasn't exactly my thing. Whoever shot me, I forgot his name, was gonna pay. Okay, I couldn't say that, because well...Jones thought I was dead. Which means Peter thought I was dead, which means Elizabeth thinks I am dead, and yeah, you know the rest.

I coughed some water out of my mouth. My hair was so damp and I shook it a little. My head was hurting too. What didn't bother me today? It was a pretty day, slightly humid, but pretty. Birds were chirping, but pain ached all through my body.

I was gonna admit, I didn't know how to swim, but I felt...adreanaline. Was it adrenaline? I don't know, but suddenly as I started to sink under and paddling for a long time, energy was starting to build up and I felt hope. Peter. I thought of him. How was he taking the news? I cared a great deal for Peter, he was one of my closest friends next to Mozzie. We were partners. I remember when he told me that after an undercover mission I did, I said to him, "So what are we doing today, partner?" he just looked at me and walked off. Then my phone rang. It was Meilin. She had told me that whoever had Kate was FBI.

I remember sitting in the office, watching Hughes, Jones, Lauren, and Peter, trying to figure out who had Kate.

I got back to reality, I was fighting for my life, not looking back at memories. When I got to land, I'd think about that stuff. I saw something green ahead. I smiled, it was grass. I spat some more water out of my mouth and decided to take a chance. I went back under the water and kicked my legs and batted my arms as hard as I could before I got tired. There I was, on _land._

My stomach had so much water in it, I could feel it, if that was possible. I coughed it out and then stood up, shakily. Okay, so the person who shot me was so stupid. Ever since Kate's death, I had taken precautions. I started wearing a bullet proof vest since someone out there wanted me dead. So when that guy shot me, I went down with just a heavy pain in my chest, but no bullet actually IN my chest. It was in the vest.

I started coughing again. I looked around for a pay phone or something, I guess I'd have to buy a new phone. I sighed and then pulled the one out of my pocket, it was soaked and clearly wouldn't work anymore. I tried turning it on, but as I said, it didn't work. I had to text Peter or something, or call him, but I didn't know if I was capable of using my voice yet. I rubbed my chest. I sighed and walked off.

(Elizabeth)

I had a bandage wrapped around my foot since Peter basically killed that picture frame and I had stepped on a piece of glass that I missed. I limped into the kitchen, wearily. I got some hot coffee and drank it, slowly, I just stood there, thinking about things. I had a lot of time think since we got the news. Peter and I weren't taking it that well.

After I finished my coffee, I padded quietly into the dining room and saw Peter standing there. He had a blank expression on his face, but there was a tubberware right next to him. I looked at it, confused, and then smiled at what I saw. It was labeled 'Office Pictures; 2010' and it had tons of pictures from the FBI office, there was another tubberware container under the table.

I didn't look at it yet, but I looked through the other pictures, sighing. There was a cute one of Lauren and Peter, but that wasn't what my mission was. I was looking for pictures of Neal. I looked over at Peter when I couldn't find any, and he was holding a stack of them. I didn't bother him, but he left the room with the pictures and then came back minutes later with a big white poster board and tons of my scrapbooking items. I didn't want to sound like an old lady, but I did scrapbook.

He took out of the bags some stick on letters, they were big and black, and then cut out a page that he wanted. He was quiet during the whole process. I watched him, sitting down and drinking some water.

He started sticking the letters on the poster board, quietly, and when he finished, it read, 'Neal Caffrey.' I smiled at it and then looked at Peter, "Diane is gonna be here in a while, she's bringing some pictures too." I smiled at him and he smiled back when we heard the doorbell. I got up and answered it, seeing Diane. Peter spoke, "Speak of the devil." he winked at Diane and I.

We both laughed and I gave her a hug, she had a big bag in her hand. "I've checked into the hotel and now I have my stuff ready to help you guys." she smiled and then I narrowed my eyes at her, "You could've just stayed with us." She smiled, "Didn't want to intrude too much, but let's get to work."

Over all, Peter was silent. We all worked kind of quiet, so focused. Every once in a while, we'd find a funny picture of Neal and laugh, then we would find a more upsetting one, and sigh. There was a great picture though when Peter had decided to sneak up on him after he had just gotten up and his hair was pretty messy. We laughed about that one for several minutes.

When we finished the poster board, it had over fifty pictures of him and some other people he would be standing with. The title in sticker letters said, 'Neal Caffrey; Con Artist, Friend, and Great Worker.' It was emotional for all of us, but we pulled through.

The rest of the day, we talked about dates, plans, and all of that stuff. It didn't take that long to plan the whole thing, it took a lot of thought though. We started calling around for places to use and Diane started the paper stating where, when, and etc.

Peter sat at the table, watching us do our work. He didn't really know what to do, but then he got up and pulled something out of a tubberware. It was a picture of him, Diane, Lauren, Jones, Neal, and I. He went to the kitchen, grabbing a spare picture frame and setting it next to the poster board display. It fit nicely, and it was one picture I would keep in our home for the rest of our lives. To remember the good times and laughs we had with not only him, but his friends.

We all got up from the table, from all our funeral arrangements, going to make copies of the paper that said the information of the funeral. We had made at least one hundred by hand, but this is where we stopped and make another one hundred copies. They looked decent and nice, and Peter would give them out. The priest at our church had said details about it at mass and said there were also fliers in the back, we ran out. I guess everyone knew Neal Caffrey there.

Now we just waited for the treaded to come, it would be a sad, very emotional day. Diane had finally given in and stayed with us. She'd be off work for a week, Peter was off for two weeks, but he intended to go back sooner. I had given myself the same amount, but I was going back sooner.

Jones, out of everyone, was on the longest leave and we figured he wouldn't use all the time given either. He was tough and was gonna get back to work. He was attending therapy, and said it was really helping. Lauren was really supportive towards him, and whenever, every once and a while, a reporter would come around and she would shoo them away like there was no tomorrow.

We were all _coping,_ and it wasn't easy.


	3. The Funeral

I'd like to thank you for all the reviews I've gotten! They are all so lovely and make me smile so much! I love you guys!

(Neal)  
I had bought myself a phone, I sighed, I couldn't remember Peter's number real well, so I dialed the first thing that came to my head. I sighed, calling the number. I smiled when someone said, "Hi." I started, "Hey Pe-." I was interuppted. "This is Peter Burke, leave me a message!" I looked into space and sighed, I hung up.

As weak as I was, I was going to find him. I knew he wouldn't be coping well with my death, or at least I thought he wouldn't be, and so I plucked up all my strength, and walked back to the Burke's house, sighing, and wiping tears out of my eyes. I was worried and I didn't feel well. My stomach churned a little. _I cannot be getting sick..._I thought to myself, but it was too late.

I quickly ran over to a trashcan and lost everything in my stomach. Usually, Peter would be at my side, pulling my bangs out of my eyes, and patting my back, having a papertowel ready. But he wasn't here, so I vomiting and then when I sat up, there was no papertowel in my face, I started walking, wiping at my mouth. My journey _home_ began.

**I am out of POV's for right now. I don't plan on having them stick around long.**

Peter walked into the entrance of the gray, sad building. Elizabeth was carrying many items in her bag with Diane, Lauren, Jones, and Peter. There were several tables being brought in as we spoke, and they were arranged in the layout Lauren had planned. The room was empty right now, but soon it would be full of things.

Elizabeth sat down some flowers by an empty wine bottle. She stopped in her tracks and saw June walked in, June smiled and hugged Elizabeth. "Where's Mozzie?" asked Elizabeth, looking around for him. "Mozzie is on his way with a friend." said June, looking at Elizabeth. "He was such a good man." she sighed and looked a fairly large picture of Neal on a table. Tears formed in the corner of her gorgeous eyes, Elizabeth squeezed her hand, "We have to save the tears for later." she said, fighting back tears of her own. June nodded.

Peter and Elizabeth looked toward the entrance as more people who were helping get ready walked in. They're was an absolutely stunning lady right next to Mozzie. She had elegant curls in her hair, a beautiful black dress that was strapless and short, and elegant jewelry around her neck and on her wrists and ears. June approached her, "Glad you could make it, Alex." she smiled.

Alex nodded and looked at the large picture of Neal, "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked, looking at her feet which had beautiful heels on them. It was obvious she was suffering badly. Her eyes had circles under them, and it looked as though she tried to cover it up with make-up, and she did a fine job of doing so. Elizabeth smiled, "Can you help Jones place the flowers over there?" Alex nodded and stalked away.

"Mozzie, I know how uncomfortable this is for you, considering the federal agents here, but I am so glad you came." said Peter, hugging the man. Mozzie nodded, wrapping only one arm around Peter. "Glad I could too, Suit." he said, and then walked off behind June, they were placing little pictures for people to take that said, 'Neal Caffrey; 1978-2010.' and had a large picture of him, smiling with all teeth shown. His eyes looked very blue in that picture, and that's why everyone liked it.

After maybe an hour of setting up, everything was almost complete, Peter looked over at the very front of the building, there was a wine bottle. He approached it, fairly quick. He picked it up. "_Bordeaux._" he gasped, looking at it. He set it down, looking at it. "Kate's bottle." he sighed. He thought about how happy Neal must be.

Neal is with Kate, he must be happy. But Peter was wrong, he just shrugged it off. Diane smiled at everyone, "Okay, final touches now?" she asked. Everyone in the room nodded, she grabbed the poster board that Elizabeth, Peter, and her all worked together on and set it at the very front, so it was visible to the whole church.

Then everyone in the room started sniffling, tears welled up in everyone's eyes at all the pictures and words on the poster board. Alex hugged June and cried silently on her when Peter grabbed Elizabeth's hand and she leaned on Peter, sniffling and tearing up slightly.

Diane asked, "Shall we let everyone in?" there was a slight crack in her voice, and she looked down. Everyone nodded silently, and Peter took his seat next to Elizabeth. "Do you have you're speech?" asked Elizabeth, looking at Peter. His dark brown eyes making her want to faint, she smiled slightly, but it wasn't a real smile.

Peter nodded, "It's going to be..very emotional." he said, and sighed. Elizabeth nodded, "I know, hon." she kissed his cheek and held his hand, watching people enter. They're were a lot of people here, some people no one had ever seen, and some they were very firmiliar Peter jumped out of his seat. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked, looking at the young, blonde headed girl.

"I am attending a funeral." she looked at Peter, concerned. Peter snarled, "Not with a news camera, you're not. You're welcome to stay, but get the cameras out. This is a mourning event, not an entertainment event." he snapped and moved back to his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

Elizabeth and Diane smiled at Peter, "Good job, Peter." said a familiar voice, we looked up and saw Lauren, wearing an elegant purple dress. We didn't really look at her much when we were setting up, but now eyes were on her. "You look beautiful, Lauren." said Elizabeth and hugged her. Lauren hugged back, "Thanks. My date said so too." she smiled and looked over at Jones, who was sitting in the front.

Peter smiled, "Who would've known." he said, smiling wiping off his face. Music started playing, he recognized it as a song Neal enjoyed. The whole place fell silent, except for the song that was playing. June was up there, she was playing the piano. There was someone Peter didn't recognize, playing the violin, he sighed slightly. Hughes stepped in one of the seats and whispered to Peter, "Sorry I was late." he fell silent then. Peter just nodded. Elizabeth greeted Hughes slightly, sighing, and then looking at someone who stepped up.

Alex was standing at the front. This wasn't going to be a regular funeral, people were just going to say nice words about him. We didn't want the whole service, Holy Eucharist, and the Homilies. That was more like mass than a funeral. Alex had tears trickled down her face. It was hard to see her this...weak.

"Neal was a good man, he was a pain in the ass sometimes..." the attendance had smiles across there faces, "but he was amazing to me. He was really funny and we went out in highschool and I'm really g-gonna mi-." she had started crying and then she passed out. Peter and Lauren got up at once, rushing to her side.

Elizabeth watched, anxiously, she hated seeing people this _broken_ because some idiot took a shot at Neal and killed him. She felt anger well up inside her and she wanted to hurt someone. Lauren and Peter lifted Alex up, supporting her, she was still unconscious, and lead her to three empty seats and lied her down, putting water on her face. She opened her eyes, everyone watched attentively. That lady with the camera came back in.

Elizabeth taped Diane, "That lady is back in here." she growled. Diane turned around and got up, "I'll take care of her." Diane went over to her, and she had taped Alex falling down. Diane pushed her out of the room, "Who do you think you are to tape someone passing out...especially at a funeral?" she asked, sternly. The women laughed.

"I'm a reporter, it's what I do. I don't care who this Neal Caf-." Diane punched her in the mouth and shoved her against the wall, "Give me the damn tape. Now." she growled, holding her hand out. The lady nodded and pulled it out of the camera. Diane grabbed it, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and she growled, "Don't come back in unless you want you're stupid, make-up covered face black. Got it?" she asked, sternly.

The lady nodded and scurried out of the room. Diane watched her, shaking her head, picking the tape up, throwing it away, and returning to her seat. Elizabeth looked at Diane, "What did you say?" she asked. Diane smiled, "That unless she wants her pretty little face black, she had better leave. I crushed the tape." she sighed.

The reporter smiled and grabbed another tape out of the camera, "Lucky I keep spares." she whispered to herself, and got in her care, happy with herself. She wrote on the tape, 'Lady faints at Funeral.' and smiled.

Lauren's words about Neal lightened the mood quite a bit, "The first case I worked with Neal on undercover, we went in and we were preparing to give money for some items. The man pulled out and gun and I said, 'Shoot him and we got you on murder too.' He looked at me like I was crazy and then after gave me a talk saying, 'I knew you were bluffing. He was a good person and quite the charmer." She had tears rolling down her cheeks, smiling though, she stepped down. Jones had made the choice not to speak at all.

Elizabeth had chosen to talk about the ham incident, when he was sick and staying with them, after Kate's death, and before his death, it was funny at first, but then it got sad. The mood went down dramatically.

Mozzie also refused to speak, as did June. They were all too saddened. And one of the people that was suffering most spoke. Peter. His speech made everyone in the crowd of people break down and cry.

He started to speak, "Neal Caffrey was one of my _best_ friends. He was my partner and I'm very glad I decided to get him out of jail. I wouldn't be the person I am today without him. Looking back, you realize how much you're going to miss that stupid hat-" he motioned to the hat sitting on a table, "-or his cartoon outfits. I sat in my office, waiting for him to show up, and my boss reminded me, 'You know Peter, he's not coming through the doors.' I felt my heart drop again. He was too young to go. He had so much spirit, soul, and attitude and some stupid person shot him and took away that young man's life. Who would do that? Obviously him, but Neal was one of the most zaniest, craziest, amazing people I knew. And no-now he's gone." he started to cry and couldn't finish, he stepped down and went to Elizabeth, burying his head into her hair, crying.

Everyone dabbed there eyes, wiped at them. Everyone's face was shiny and glistening, the piano started playing. It was another one of Caffrey's favorites. Alex buried her head into June's arm. June wasn't playing the piano anymore. Peter looked at the picture of Neal. _He's gone._

**That was so depression to write. I started crying! :| Well, leave plenty of reviews for me! And omg I feel so bad for poor Alex and Peter :[ 2000 words exactly right NOW.  
**


	4. Surprises

"Why did he have to go?" Peter asked Elizabeth after he made his emotional speech. Elizabeth dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex and said, "He didn't d-deserve to die this young." she cried out, sniffling slightly. Her eyes were swimming with tears as she spoke very quietly. It sounded as quiet as when someone was sleeping and a rat was walking around on the shiny, new hardwood floors.

Elizabeth thought back to some happy times that they had in the past with Neal, but right now, she couldn't think of any...she buried her face in Peter's chest. She cried silently and continued her silent little vigil as people passed by her, not bothering to look at her.

Diane was boiling with anger, she was so pissed off at that damned reporter who had the nerve to come into a funeral and shove her stupid nose and that overly large camera, recording a girl who was obviously mourning. She passed out for goodness sakes, she shouldn't have been recorded! Diane drank her water bottle and then stalked away over to Lauren.

Lauren looked at Diane, "Hi." she said silently, her face was pushed into a tissue and her eyes were swelled and blotched. Diane looked at her, tears welling up in her eyes, she hugged Lauren, crying silently.

Lauren was the first to pull away, she nodded, and walked out of the building, still tears down her face. Alex was sitting in the same spot that she had been sitting in the whole night, looking off. Diane sighed, everyone was so..._sad_.

Jones was going around and looking at all the things lied out on tables. Hat, bottle, pictures, clothing pieces, sketches, painting, certificates, etc. Jones looked at the hat the longest. "Neal was wearing a fedora when he died." he whispered to himself. "What was that?" said someone. Jones looked up to see Mozzie standing right next to him. "Hey Mozzie." sighed Jones. Mozzie nodded his hello.

They were standing in an awkward silence until Mozzie broke away. Jones sighed. 

Peter and Elizabeth were sitting in there seats, huddled against a bench, crying silently. Elizabeth's head was against Peter's shoulder after she had lifted it up briefly from Peter. Peter rubbed her back gently.

Diane watched as Lauren walked back in, she had seemed to calm down a little, but still had tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked much paler and her cheeks were flushed. Diane walked over to her, "Are you okay?" she asked. Lauren shook her head, meaning no. "I-I'm h-having trouble b-breathing." she panted. Diane rubbed Lauren's arm and said, "Here, come and sit down. You need to calm down a little." she nodded and walked over to a seat.

Diane watched her closely, making sure she was fine. After she calmed down more, she got up, "Thanks Diane." she sighed and walked to Peter and Elizabeth. They started talking, but Diane didn't know what they were talking about, but she figured it was Neal.

Jones was sitting by himself, it was a sad sight to see everyone so hurt. He looked as though he hadn't been crying much, he had probably gotten it all out when he witnessed the actual death. He sighed and then got up, throwing his water bottle away. Hughes was walking around, he looked as though he hadn't cried at all, but we all knew he was suffering somewhat for the lose of a great asset of the team. He walked over to Jones and patted his back. They started talking, Jones and Hughes smiling occasionally.

It was oddly quiet and no one was talking. Elizabeth was still crying silently, Peter rubbing her back, tears running down his face as well. "I'm never gonna get over this." she sobbed, blinking more tears out of her eyes. Peter nodded, "I don't think I will either." he sighed.

June was crying into a tissue all by herself, she had been looking at the posterboard of pictures of him. She saw one of Neal and her and she had broken down completely, crying to herself, quietly.

Jones and Hughes had stopped talking. Lauren was alone again. Diane was sitting by herself. Elizabeth and Peter were embraced together, sitting quietly. June was sitting next to someone she didn't know, very quietly. Mozzie was by Alex, they were visiting quietly. It was very quiet in the building.

Alex had been looking down and talking silently with Mozzie for some time. Mozzie was cracking few jokes, it was a very dark time right now. It felt as though no one was going to heal. People were trying to cope, but they couldn't. Even the people he didn't know well, they had cried.

"No more tears, please." a voice said, it echoed and bounced off the walls of the quiet building. Everyone turned around and saw a thin, lanky figure standing in the doorway. He had brown, wavy, hair. His eyes were sharp and blue. He looked familiar. Peter got up.


	5. Illnesses

Peter was standing. _It couldn't be Neal..._he thought to himself. Elizabeth got up, along with a few others, but no one else moved closer. The figure stepped out of the shadows, it was him.

"Neal!" squealed Elizabeth, everyone turned to look at him then. Eyes were wide with shock, mouths were hanging open till they touched the ground, and people were still. "You're alive..." gasped Jones. He had suddenly turned very red, embarassed from the error he made about Neal being dead. Neal was very quiet, but he spoke softly, "I am." he looked at Peter and Elizabeth now.

"How?" Hughes asked, looking at him, still eyes wide with shock. Neal whispered, "Bulletproof vest." his voice was barely audible. Peter was very silent, just staring at Neal. Everything suddenly went quiet and there was a sigh in the background. Neal's knees buckled as he started walking and he almost fell, but he grabbed one of the chairs to help him keep from falling. No one moved yet.

Jones had started to move a little, but then when Neal caught himself, he stopped. Peter started gnawing on his bottom lip and then spoke, "Neal?" he asked, looking at the young man as if he had never seen him before. Neal nodded, "It's me." he said, a bit louder than he had before.

Neal looked at the place, there was a poster board with a collage of pictures of him, his hat, the Bordeaux bottle, and a lot of other things. He looked at it from a distance, being very quiet. Everyone watched him, Lauren kept close watch on what he was viewing. "You're really here." she whispered, sniffling a bit. She tried to keep tears back again. She couldn't believe it.

Diane looked at him, not quite believing it either, she almost wanted to go up and question him about things that he would only know, but she held back her urge. Neal walked away from the chair he was holding and stood in front of Peter. "Can I talk to you?" he asked quietly. He tried to make it so others would not hear his voice, but some did. Peter nodded and walked outside.

Neal followed slowly, he tried to keep his footing right so he wouldn't trip. He walked out the doors and closed them. Peter looked at him, he was also very quiet. Neal looked at him, "Why weren't you there?" he asked, keeping his voice flat.

Peter looked at him, "I'm sorry, I was feeling ill." he whispered, it was obvious he felt guilty, it was written all over his face. He flinched a little and then recovered, standing up tall and straight, but he looked exhausted. Neal nodded silently, "I was just wondering..." he quietly said. Peter nodded, "Anything else?" said Peter. Neal nodded, "I'm sorry." he cringed and fell to the ground, shivering violently. Peter was at his side in a second.

"Neal, are you okay?" Peter turned him over on his back. Neal had his eyes shut and he nodded, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he repeated over and over again. Peter tried to shush him but he wouldn't be quiet, "Neal, shh.." he whispered and shook him slightly so he wouldn't hurt him.

Peter put a hand to his forehead that was covering in beads of sweat, "Neal, you're burning up." he gasped and said, "Are you cold?" he asked, it was a stupid question, but he waited for a reply. Neal nodded, his eyes closed so tight together. "I'm going to get Elizabeth." said Peter and got up, leaving Neal even though he felt guilty after he had. When he opened the doors, people were waiting anxiously to hear what had happened. "He's burning up." he proclaimed to her. Others heard and got up, but he motioned for them to sit down.

Elizabeth nodded and took off her jacket, she started to speed walk outside, and kneeled next to Neal, kissing his cheek, she could feel the hotness on his face and looked at Peter, "How is your stomach?" she asked. He shook his head, eyes clenched shut, "It's been hurting ever since I walked in." he coughed slightly.

"And your head?" she asked, putting her jacket on top of his stomach, hoping it could warm him up. "It feels fine." he sighed and then flinched backwards when she put a hand to his neck. "I'm sorry." she said, tears welled up in her eyes. "Mmm, it's okay." he sighed and grabbed for whoever's hand he could find to squeeze. Peter held his hand so his wife could looked after him as the mother she was inside.

His face was looking four shades paler than it usually was, his cheeks were flushed but had a little red inside them, he opened his eyes and turned a sickly color. "I think..I'm going to be..sick." he breathed, barely audible. Elizabeth looked at Peter and sighed, Peter had gotten up to get a trash can inside, he ran outside in time.

Neal barely moved, he sat up very little, and sat there, heaving for a few minutes before vomit came out of his mouth. Elizabeth looked at Peter, "What do you think this could be?" she asked over the loud noises in the background. Peter waited till Neal finished his hurling and asked, "Neal, do you know what this is from?" he asked, patting his shoulder. Neal had his head still in the trashcan, too lazy to move, and answered, "I swam a long while after I got shot." he coughed, wiping his face on a paper towel Elizabeth had gotten him.

Peter nodded, "Or it could be just your regular flu." he suggested to Elizabeth. Elizabeth nodded, "I dunno, but we're gonna get you better, hon." she rubbed circles in his back and Neal nodded. "Okay." he simply said, very flat and exhausted. Neal stood up very slowly, taking the trash can with him, and walked inside to say goodbye very quickly. He got dizzy and nearly tumbled over, but he stood straight up again, and walked away without delay.


	6. Sickness

**I've been so busy this week and I apologize for not updating for a while. I've been preoccupied with some personal issues and I also had writer's block. Sincerely, Kenzie**

Peter and Elizabeth had piled Neal in the car, wrapped in a jacket and snuggled against the backseat, lying down on his side. Peter looked at him once more before he started driving with Elizabeth. It was oddly quiet, but she started a conversation.

"What do you think could be wrong with him?" she asked, curiously, glancing back at him. He was sound asleep in the back sleep, both Elizabeth and Peter agreed that he must be exhausted from the swimming and trying to track everyone down. A light snore escaped from his lips and then he slept soundly once again. "He could have the flu or a cold, but when you have a cold, you usually don't get fevers." he suggested, shrugging slightly.

Elizabeth nodded, "I think it's the flu. He vomited, he has a fever, and he's getting the shivers. He could have a virus too." she looked at Peter and he nodded, "That's another possibility. He's probably really weak as it is right now anyway." he sighed and looked in the rearview mirror to see a partial bit of his face. He looked at peace and sort of dead, but he wasn't. You could see his chest moving slightly as he slept. Peter almost wanted to smile, but he knew the young man was sick, so he shrugged the smile off his face. Elizabeth looked back at Peter then Neal.

"You're like a mother to him, you know?" said Peter, a smile tugging at the corner of his chapped lips. Elizabeth shrugged and smiled as well, "I always wanted children, but you know, it didn't work out." she looked away from Peter.

Peter frowned and said, "I'm sorry." he grabbed her hand and kissed it, eyes still on the road.

"It's not your fault." she didn't have a smile on her face, her expression was blank. Peter coughed a little bit and then drove in silence, looking occasionally out the window of the busy Manhattan streets, flatly.

"Come on, buddy." Peter shook Neal awake, which obviously startled him, and he went into a coughing fit. Peter felt guilty and looked at Elizabeth, she had a frown on her lips and whispered in Peter's ear, "I'm going to get his bed ready, mkay?" she smiled and pecked Peter's lips and trotted off into the house, smiling as she went in at Peter. Peter sighed and looked at Neal, "Are you alright?" he asked him, rubbing circles on his back, and then patting his hand. Neal nodded and coughed once more before the fit stopped. He got up very slowly from the car, swaying slightly, and almost toppled over once. Peter supported him and looked at him, "You don't look so well, are you going to be sick again?" he asked, grabbing a loose bag from inside there car and handing it to Neal. Neal shook his head, "No...not yet, anyway." he said, quietly. Peter supported him and helped him into the house.

Neal was oddly quiet on the way up, he probably wasn't in a mood to talk right now. There was one tear rolling down his face and his eyes were pools of water. Peter knew he wasn't feeling well, so he lead him up the stairs into his 'room.' Neal stayed there in the past and was always grateful to them for letting him stay. Peter took off Neal's jacket and shoes, grabbing sweats that were a little large for Neal and a white t-shirt. Peter glanced over at him and he was already asleep by the time Peter had entered the room again.

Peter got a bowl and put it under right by his side and a wet towel, putting it on his face. Peter changed Neal and lied his clothes on the floor next to his shoes and jacket. Peter smiled once at the sleeping man and exited the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

"How is he?" asked Jones, who was talking to Elizabeth on the phone when Peter came down, out of his funeral clothes. "He's upstairs in our guest room, I don't know. Peter was the one who took him up there, why don't you talk to him?" she handed the phone off to Peter, smiling.

Peter didn't know who was on the phone, but he answered, "Yup?" he asked. He heard the voice of Clinton and smiled slightly, "Yeah, he's sick, I went to get him a change of clothes and he was already asleep...no, he hasn't thrown up again, but he did look like he was about to when we got him...coughing, stuffed nose, vomiting, fever, chills...yeah, I'll tell him when he wakes up...yup, alright...bye." he talked and hung up the phone.

Elizabeth smiled, "I know Jones just asked you, but how is he?" she asked, sitting across the table from him, drinking some water in a glass. Peter nodded, "Sick, but he is sleeping." she smiled at him and kissing his cheek, she got up and exited the room, leaving Peter to his thoughts.

**I think I'm going to have one-two more chapters. Again, sorry for the slow updates. ****Please review(: **


	7. Doctors

**So I decided no whumpage in this story, but I plan whumpage in the next story(: Hope that's okay. Anyways, onwards we go.**

Neal woke up, sweat on his brow. He had a nightmare, he sat up slowly, getting dizzy, but then panted, sweat drowning his face still.

Neal looked around him. He was in the guest bedroom of the Burke's house, he wiped his forehead and necked and kicked the covers off of him so he could get cooled off. He looked next to him and seeing something to get sick in, he stumbled out of the bed, and threw up. Then he heard footsteps, and he wiped his mouth and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at the door as it opened.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at the younger man with deep concern engraved on his face and he sighed, going next to the sick man. He looked at the sick in the bowl and took the wet rag that was once on Neal's face and got a new one.

"You don't have to do that…it's my sick, my responsibility." Said Neal, reaching for the rag and bowl, but Peter shook his head.

"You're sick; you stay in bed until you are well. I need to check your temperature after I'm done with this." He held the rag up and walked away when Elizabeth came in with a thermometer.

She smiled at Neal and then looked at Peter, the smile still on her beautiful face, but there was worry in the creases of her forehead. "I'm already on his fever." she noted and sat by Neal at the edge of the bed. "I do not know how to use these electronic thermometers." she complained and held it close to his face and then ran it across his forehead. She smiled at Neal as he chuckled at her lack of knowledge on thermometers.

"Your fever is high." She complained to Peter. She waved the thermometer in the air, waiting for Peter to come over.

Peter trotted over to her side, lying the bowl and rag down next to the sick young man. "Yup, 103.4 is not good. I'm taking you to a doctor." He looked at Neal. You could see fear build up in his eyes.

Elizabeth glanced over at Neal and brushed some of his hair back from his forehead, "What's wrong?" she asked.

Neal swallowed, "I don't want you to lose me again." He blinked and then his face went blank as it had in the car.

Peter and Elizabeth's heart broke, "What are you talking about?" asked Elizabeth, grabbing for one of Peter's hand and then took Neal's hand in the other. She felt her heart drop when she looked at him again, a shiny tear in his eye.

"You thought I was dead once, what if I die for real this time?" he asked, looking at there worried and hurt faces.

Peter looked at Neal, "Neal, what happened was an accident and you aren't going to die from a fever. I've had much higher and look where I am today. I'm still here and you'll be back to annoying me with that stupid hat trick in no time." He smiled the friendliest smile he could put on his face and then Elizabeth squeezed his hand.

Neal nodded, "Okay, I guess you're right. I guess my paranoia is just getting to me. I really need not to listen to what Mozzie says about diseases." He said and got up, weakly. He coughed a few times and stood straight. He grabbed the bowl and turned around heading for the door, Elizabeth and Peter right behind him, "Thanks." He whispered, not turning around.

In the car, Elizabeth was driving and Neal was in the backseat, outstretched. Peter was in the front passenger seat, keeping a close eye on Neal.

Peter turned on the radio and a song came on and Neal jumped in the backseat.

"Everything okay?" asked Elizabeth, almost ready to pull the car over. Peter turned around quickly, looking at Neal. "Neal?" he asked. Neal had an alarmed look on his face, but not a sick look, an excited look almost.

"Turn the radio up." He demanded, pointing at the volume button anxiously. Peter nodded and did as Neal said, not sure what was going on, and exchanged confused glanced with Elizabeth. Peter turned around again, "What is this about?" he asked, cautiously.

Neal sighed and lied back down, "Nothing really, it's just…Kate used to love this song." He shifted his weight, obviously uncomfortable with saying that, and closed his eyes, humming very quietly.

Elizabeth looked at Peter and then kept her eyes on the road once again, "Oh." She simply said and turned it up a little more.

Peter looked at Elizabeth and smiled and then mouthed, "I think that is sweet." He smiled and Elizabeth smiled back, nodding. She turned her focus to the road and occasionally looked back at Neal, who was humming again.

Peter escorted Neal and Elizabeth out of the car and then walked with Neal and Elizabeth at his

side. He was concerned for the younger man, but he was wondering if he had just had a round

of the flu. It was possible.

Neal walked with Peter, quietly. He sat down in the waiting room in the doctor's office, wondering what could be wrong with him. He watched Elizabeth and Peter check him in and he tapped his foot anxiously. He watched them come back.

"You're checked in. A doctor will be out any moment." said Elizabeth, smiling and patting his hand. Neal nodded silently.

They all waited for minutes for the doctor to come out and then he finally heard the peep of a voice say, "Caffrey." and it was the nurse instead. Neal got up slowly so he could avoid getting dizzy and walked over slowly. He was sure people were staring at him, but he didn't care. He looked around to see no one was. He sighed.

"Hello Mr. Caffrey." the nurse smiled. She had a friendly smile, dark hair, and she was short. She reminded him of Kate, but he shrugged it off and they got his basic information before a doctor would come in.

The doctor marched in maybe five minutes later, smiling. "Okay, what seems to be your problem today?" he asked, watching Neal.

Neal started off by saying all of the things that had caused him to be sick, the vomiting, fever, chills, etc. The doctor nodded, taking his temperature, and then clucked his tongue. "Yup, fever." he nodded and then looked at Peter, talking to him. "I think it's a regular flu, some of it's going around, he should be better if you keep him hydrated, in bed, and relaxed. He'll be off to work in no time." he smiled and shook there hands.

Neal was quiet, but he nodded at the doctor, mumbled "Thanks" and went off with the others. _At least it's nothing to serious.._he thought to himself. He got in the car, settled in the back, and slept peacefully.

**One more chapter peoples. I plan on my next story having to deal with the death of Kate. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. **


	8. Warmth

**Last chapter. And believe me, this story has been so much fun, but I can't see how I'd continue it:( I wouldn't know what to do next! My next story, as I said, will be Neal dealing with the death of Kate. So here we go;**

"Wake up, bud." said Peter, shaking the young man slightly. The ex-con's eyes fluttered open immediately and he mumbled something and unbuckled, getting out. Peter smiled slightly as the young man mumbled, and Elizabeth was unlocking the house. Peter helped Neal stand up and get inside.

Elizabeth was thinking to herself, she fumbled with the door, and walked inside, shivering slightly. The car was cold and she was still trying to get warmed up. She watched closely as Peter brought in Neal, she smiled at both of them, sweetly, shutting the door. Neal made his way to the couch and lied there still. Peter rolled his eyes, "Come on, get up. Let's go get you upstairs."

Neal moaned and got up, "I'm cold." he whimpered, shuffling upstairs.

Peter sighed, _how can he be anymore difficult.._he thought to himself and nodded, "Then go take a warm bath." he commanded and went down the hall and grabbed a towel and washcloth, he tossed it to Neal, who didn't catch. He tried not to laugh, but he chuckled silently.

Neal weakly nodded and then bent down and picked up the clothe and stumbled in the bathroom, getting the water started. Peter walked in when Neal started the water and asked, "Do you know how to adjust it?" he walked to his side.

Peter looked at Neal, he was obviously very tired and after he was done, he knew Elizabeth would send him right to bed, even though it was fairly early. Peter adjusted the water to save Neal the trouble, smiled, and walked out, "I'll leave your clothes on the bed!" he hollered through the door.

Neal nodded to himself, sighing, and then took off his clothing, hopped in the tub, and sat there silently. _Peter was right, the warm water did make me feel better.._he thought to himself and went deeper under the water. He warmed himself for a good ten minutes and then watched his body and hair fairly quick. He sat there for a few minutes, closing his eyes, but when he started to get more sleepy, he got out and tried himself. He wrapped a towel around his waist and another towel he had found on his shoulders, around his neck, so that his hair could soak on the towel while it was wet.

Neal looked down the hall, stepped out of the bathroom, and went to the guestroom, as promised, there was clothing there for him. Boxers, white t-shirt, red sweats, and even some slippers with bunnies. Neal couldn't help but laugh as he closed the door to the room, removed the towel and added to a basket where the Burke's usually disposed towels in the corner, dressed, and to his embarrassment, put the bunny slippers on.

Neal towel dried his hair a little and walked down the steps, wanting to get something to drink, and he smiled at Elizabeth who was at the table, but Peter wasn't. Neal gave a tiny sigh and walked to sit at the table. "Where did Peter go?" he asked, sliding in his chair.

Elizabeth smiled at Neal, "To get your medicine. How did the bath make you feel?" she asked, getting up and exiting the room to get a glass of water for herself and Neal.

Neal flushed a little and tilted his head back, he just realized how thirsty he was. "Warrrrm." he moaned and then shivered.

"Are you still cold?" she asked, smiling slightly, coming back with two cups of water. Neal took the one and started drinking immediately. He sniffled and nodded. He curled up in his chair, "Do you have a sweatshirt or something?" he asked.

Elizabeth smiled, "I might." she winked and exited the room, jogging up the stairs, she grabbed a robe that was fuzzy in the inside. She walked back down, "You'll have to ask Peter if he has a sweatshirt, cause I don't. But will this do?" she asked, holding it up.

Neal finished gulping down his water and he got, going to Elizabeth's side, and looked at the robe. It was dorky, but it would do. "Of course." he smiled and gave her a side hug, and asked, "Can I go upstairs?" he looked at her.

Elizabeth nodded, "Even after that nap in the car, you're still tired?" she grinned and gave him a hug, shivering at his cold body, and said in his ear, "Go ahead." she unwrapped her arms from him and waved as she went back to the table.

Neal walked up the steps and almost wanted to sprint to the bed, but he fought the urge, and continued to walk slowly to the bed so he wouldn't cause himself to be sick. He plopped down in the bed when he got there and wrapped the covers around him like a cocoon. He tried to get warm and succeeded, he heard the door open and smiled. Peter was home. Elizabeth was here. He was there. Satchmo was on the bed with Neal.

Neal fell into a deep sleep, and didn't have nightmares, he didn't think about what had happened, the funeral and all, he thought about sweet things as he dreamt and sleep. Of friends he could rely on. Everything was better, and he felt safe because he was safe..

**I had no better way to end it. Please review about what you thought about THIS CHAPTER and THE STORY! Until next time, that's all folks, Kenzie**


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